September 2012

I have to talk to you when we leave work tonight.

I knew it.

I knew what she was going to say.

 

I had been back home for about a month now. It was hard leaving my husband, to say the least.

I had to go.

I still talked to him though. Maybe it was me being naive, but I wasn’t ready to give it all up.

Maybe the distance would do us some good.

 

She went to school with Ethan, (my husband), in Englewood. She and her best friend, Jamie, knew him well.

Too well.

It was interesting transferring to the Port Charlotte Outback Steakhouse from Jacksonville. I didn’t expect to work with someone that knew Ethan.

Too well.

 

We sat on the curb, and I felt my insides collide.

He cheated on you.

How do you know.

With Jamie.

I knew it.

Oh, how I knew it.

But no, he wouldn’t do that. No, he couldn’t.

But she knew all the details. She knew exactly when Ethan moved to Jacksonville, she knew the base, she knew the small towns around.

She knew too much.

When?

Before you moved there to be with him.

Hysteria. 

How could he do this to me?

After everything we went through. After everything I went through.

I gave up a lot. I put my life on hold, and for what?

I was a joke. I was humiliated.

Here I was, 19, I just left my husband, and I was still talking to him on the phone.

This isn’t the end. We will be okay, I thought.  

Now it is the end. 

I changed my life to be with him, and the whole time I was up there, was a lie.

She looked me in the face every day at work, knowing how naive I was.

This was it, I had enough.

I didn’t deserve this.

I wailed in my car. I called him, and I yelled, to put it lightly.

He was lucky he was four hours away.

I couldn’t wait to hear his explanation.

Denial.

You’re crazy.

Denial.

I would never do that to you, Marla. 

Admitting.

Okay, we had lunch. That is it though, just lunch.

Who drives four hours for lunch?

I blinked away the last of my tears, and I drove home.

I charged through the door and fell into my mother’s arms.

He hurt me, so bad.

I threw my rings on the counter.

You guys can sell these. 

Through it all, I still was able to see the  good.

Now I can have closure. Now I know I made the right choice in leaving.

Now I finally knew what I suspected all along, was true.

I ended the night with the cursing of his name, wine, and some friends to help me through.

I want a divorce.

ethan

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